Friday, March 27, 2009

Bring On The Next Adventure

Having so recently had my knuckles rapped for being all talk, no action... Here we go folks! I am taking action, and I am outta here.

Already left the job last week (emotional moment at the time, distant memory already). Most of my stuff left this afternoon (thank you to the kindly family members who had the boot of their car free to lift it all). My final bag is packed, and I am scheduled to leave early-doors tomorrow morning (after a last final jog round the botanic gardens, for old-times sake). And that's it.

The end of my city-living, city-slicking period. The end of easy access to global coffee chains (Starbucks I'll miss you). The last of lounging the afternoon away in global bookshop chains, reading Tim Ferriss for free (Borders, its been good). The demise of crawling the last 5 miles home in first gear every night (M8 motorway, you can go hang for all I care).

Its a new beginning. A new era of working from home (praise be to internet connections). A new start in wilderness living (how far did you say it was to the nearest Marks & Spencers?). A new life of self-sufficiency, not retail therapy (not that I often did that anyway).

I don't know how its going to go, but I am more than ready. Bring on the next adventure.

Picture by atomicjeep

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Would Just One 'Great Escape' Be Enough For You?

A conversation with an occasional reader the other day, put me in my place. "What you write is all very good," he said. (Oh shucks, thanks...).

"But when are you actually going to do something about it?"

Oh. Ummm...  Is it enough to say that I'm trying?  'Very trying' would be the droll response to that one. How about: Learning? Laying the foundations? Taking the first steps?  Building capacity? (Ha! I like that one, appropriate a bit of that corporate-speak that says nothing, always a good tactic).  He has a good point. But I'll counter with a better one:

Nothing sustainable happens overnight.

I could've walked out on my job any day I chose, and still can. I've got an emergency fund in the bank, and could bugger off to New Zealand or Hawaii or Outer-bloody-Mongolia any time I like. Still might. I've got a pair of running trainers by the door, and could start jogging and keep going, right this minute.  I could, and I might, and when I do, just you watch me.

I currently have the choice to take any of those steps, and I have taken all of those steps in the past. I 've learned, through direct experience, that they're not all that drastic. I can do them, you can do them. But I've also learned that done like that, they're not necessarily sustainable.

Ditching work and going travelling is an easy thing to do.

Really it is.  But at some point, the money usually runs out. And then comes the point of coming back, cap in hand, grovelling for a job, any job, because the basic needs have to be met. That's not easy. That's rotten. What I'm aiming for isn't a one-off splurge.  I've already done that and loved it. What I'm trying to do now is create a life where the things I discovered on that splurge can be steady day-by-day realities.

There's also the fact that I don't just want to indulge myself. It's a whole lot easier to swan off to somewhere sunny and lounge on a beach (for a short while at least), than to make a difference. I've done both, and I would like to keep doing both.  But one crucial factor is:

Making a difference takes more effort.

Making a difference takes more small daily steps, and more commitment. Which is tricky to do, if you're ducking off on great-escapes and then reduced to taking any old job you can get.

I've lived the dream. Now I'm finding the way to make it sustainable for life.

What about you?  Have you already done something about your dreams?  And would just one 'great escape' be enough? 



Fat or Manic?

There are some great bits of terminology evolving out there, amongst the people who think hard about the world as we know it.






Some examples are:
  • The Joyless Economy
  • The Overwork Culture
  • The Hyperactive Workplace
  • The Manic Society
  • The Wage-Slave System
These terms are great.  They make neat and emotive short-hand for long, complicated concepts and arguments. I have slipped into using them, on a not irregular basis. But sometimes... I have to take a step back, and say "hold on a wee minute there!" What they describe and assume, doesn't always ring true. Sometimes I wonder if we're all playing a game, signing up to notions that tell half a story, because they excuse us from our mistakes and our failures.

Take an example, the Manic Society. This is one of Robert Holden's bits of jargon that I came across in his book Success Intelligence: Timeless Wisdom for a Manic Society (2005). But while he's responsible for the term, he's certainly not the only writer out there describing this phenomenon.  The way he tells it, we live in this 'manic society', where everyone is so busy, busy, busy all the time.  So far, sounds so true.

But it strikes me that we're also a society characterised by quite a lot of stagnancy and sloth. Now that would never be acknowledged in the writings that are focused on unpicking this 'manic society' for readers who are already interested, and identify with feeling too busy, and too pressured, and too stressed.  But come on. Look at this carefully.  We're so manically busy, that we're too busy to physically do things for ourselves:

  • We're too busy to wash our own cars, we'll drive through a carwash instead.

  • To busy to carry our groceries from the shop to the house, we'll get them delivered.

  • Too busy to walk anywhere, we'll drive.

  • Goddamit most of the time we're all too busy to move at all.

We are all so manically busy... that we're getting fat?

Is this not a contradiction? There's this trend in the media to describe ourselves as a manic society, to lament that we're all so busy, and never have enough time... Its a terrible problem, for which you deserve sympathy and maybe should demand change. And at the same time, it's a complement - there's kudos in being super-uncontrollably-busy. There isn't in being a lazy, apathetic, fat bastard.

Yet most of the time, admit it, most of us are manically sat on our bottoms.

Likewise, there's this trend to analyse how we're all so busy that our personal lives suffer, our relationships falter through neglect. The media is full of these surveys and stats around the breakdown of family life, parents spending 8 minutes per day with their kids or some such horror... But the same people do get through an awful lot of hours watching TV, and movies, or browsing online (me included)...

I'm not denying that people are busy, and stressed, and working very hard, and doing stupidly long hours, and worn out, and all the rest of it. I think we've nearly all been there, seen it, done it. But it's half a story. We're manically busy, and we're lazy sods.

Why is that? Is it the way it has to be?  And who gets to decide?

Image by herval

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Why Excellent Employee-ism Is Sick

My closest friends are, by and large, excellent employees. I am the sole odd-bod. They turn up on time, do what they're supposed to do all day, clock off 8 hours later (unless they're doing some overtime), see themselves doing this for the next 30-40 years, and don't have any problem with any of that. "That's the contract. That's what you sign to in return for your pay packet," they explain to me in exasperation.

All the potential consequences not mentioned in that contract - stress, exhaustion, damaged health, wasted relationships, weakened sense of self, dissatisfaction and lack of fulfilment - are entirely separate issues as far as they are concerned. If you do develop significant problems in any of those areas, well, that's a personal issue, to be dealt with on a personal level. Get a grip. Snap out of it. Deal with it. Accept it. Go to your doctor and get some anti-depressants. Or some counselling maybe. Or some vitamins. Do more exercise, in your own time. Fit your relationships round your work better. Improve your time management skills. Or, ultimately, leave if you just can't cut it.

The job description as it stands, the workplace environment, culture and expectations are all sacrosanct. The individual has to adapt, or die (metaphorically rather than literally, obviously. Although...).

Image by theogeo

Do We Sabotage Our Own Dreams?

I came back from my travels last year, excited. I'd had a glorious year of running and travel - a combination that rocked my world.  I couldn't wait to get stuck in to doing more of the same in my home country. Have you seen what Scotland looks like?! We may not get the weather, but oh my god, we have got the terrain for trail-running.  My head was full of dreams for all the great things I'd do, building on the things I learned while I was away.

But the running has not really taken off since my return. Its sort of limped and faltered. I've chugged out a few short runs per week, doing circuits of the park that barely meet the minimum to keep my body ticking over. Sure it's been good, its very rare for such a thing as a 'bad run' to occur. But, now that I think about it, its been a lot of years, like 10 perhaps, since I've run so little or so poorly.  My dreams, that I'd made part of my everyday life while I was away, seemed inapplicable and unobtainable back in my home country and my ordinary life.

What's that all about? Yes, I've had an injury to contend with, but that didn't happen till January. What was going on between August and December?

There was a poor adjustment to being back in 'normal life.' Let's face it, full-time work, urban living, long commutes snarled up in rush-hour traffic? They cannot compete with a life on the road, where your time is your own, the national parks have paths that lead toward heaven, the sun always shines, and the priority for each day is: where shall I run and how far do I feel like going? I got fed up and despondent about that.

I've had to hand back a certain amount of autonomy to my employer and other authorities. I've had to compromise on values that while I was away, I could live my life by. Things around travel and transport, recycling and waste, time and efficiency, functionality versus 'keeping up appearances'. This has made me feel conflicted inside.

I've also had a shift in focus, getting really into political, economic, environmental and ideological debates. I've gotten very focused on the systems that limit and crush people and their potential. I've been angered by our wage-slave society, our over-work cultures, our misplaced priorities. And I've tried to make something of the alternatives, to explore other ways of living (and making a living) so that both my own and others' futures don't need to be so restricted. I've had my ups and downs with that side of things.

I've often felt frustrated, disappointed in myself, and sabotaged since my return to the UK. I've also been getting flabby and weak. But, today I wonder...

Has it been 'society' that has sabotaged my dreams? Or has it been me?

One thing I need to remember; there's always a choice.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

What Happens Between Jobs?

So. I am 'between jobs' at the moment (though it'll not be for long, it has to be said). I can feel my internal gears crunching. It's that shift, away from being externally directed by all the requirements dictated by a job - what time to get up, what to wear, how to travel, be there by such-and-such a time, leave when we say you can...

Now, my time is my own, and I've got that 'cast adrift' sensation. I've been here before, more than once, and I know how it runs. But that doesn't stop me floundering a bit. For the next short while, I can get up when I want, wear whatever I damn well please, and best of all, do what I choose... Fabulous.

But my internals are still adjusting. They're expecting a blast from the boss, or a word from the line manager, or a phone call from a client.

Waiting for something external and all-powerful to make my next decision for me.

Nae luck to that. For now, it's just me and I'm going to enjoy it.

Image by aussiegall

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Farting Camels

"Learn to recognise the counterfeit coins
That may buy you just a moment of pleasure,
But then drag you for days
Like a broken man
Behind a farting camel."

Hafiz, Sufi Poet

Image by lovelypetal

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

How Travel Can Save The Planet

A dilemma I have, and rarely address, is the contradiction between how much I love and value travel, and how much I don't want the world to be decimated by self-indulgent plane journeys.

If you haven't already, you must read Thomas L. Friedman's book Hot, Flat & Crowded (2008) - see here.  It's the book that got me seriously thinking about this topic. The book focuses on the environmental crisis, how bad it is, and what needs to be done about it. Something that made me increasingly uncomfortable as I read, was how extensively the author seems to have travelled. His book is riddled with sentences like 'At a meeting in... While presenting at a conference in... While hiking in... While visiting a conservation project in...' Sentences that seem to include all continents and most countries on the globe. These details seem incongruent.  How could somebody so knowledgeable and so inspirational about tackling climate change be so blase about what must be a truly massive carbon footprint? Is it that his global influence justifies his personal impact? Is it just like Al Gore and his Inconvenient Truth?  I wasn't sure about this.

But, he did say something very poignant, that I was sure about.  One of Friedman's main motivators in tackling environmental issues has been his travelling the world and seeing the amazing and endangered places, ecosystems, plants and animals for himself. He talks about the Amazon rainforest, and the orangutans in Indonesia... I think about the places I've been; the forests of northern Japan, the moors and mountains of the Scottish Highlands, the red heat of the Australian Outback, the palm trees and surf of Maui's beaches, and the underwater coral reefs and wonders offshore.

Being there for real, experiencing the reality of these natural wonders on a true, immediate, and sensory level - that's how I know these places are bigger than us, and far too precious to sacrifice.

With modern life being increasingly urban, man-made, and managed to meet human/economic requirements... How many people get the chance to truly experience the natural world, and from that know how important environmental issues are? Thomas L. Friedman's personal experience and connection with places has motivated his writing and his politics. My personal experience and connection with places has motivated my own small efforts in this direction.  Air travel does need increasing justification. But travel in and of itself does not.

When it comes to environmental issues and the hard choices we're going to have to make, travel might be one of the very few effective motivators for change that we have.

Damn Good Quote

I read a very good paragraph recently, one that clearly articulates something that I have been battling to get to grips with in my head and in this blog for some time. Something that I feel is at the core of so many things that 'just aren't right' with our society. So I'm going to reproduce it. Here goes:

"The great failure of market economies is that they take no measure of externalities: if something doesn't have a market value, it doesn't exist; this is what the economists call 'the tragedy of the commons.' The emergence and development of the environmental movement pioneered the understanding of how markets, in a bid to drive down costs, 'externalise' them - or, to put it more crudely, get someone else (usually the taxpayer) to pay for them; for example, polluting a river is cheaper than processing and recycling it. In just the same way, markets externalise the social costs of their way of working; it is left to individuals - and their overworked NHS doctors - to deal with the exhaustion, work-related depression, stress and the care deficit."

Madeleine Bunting (2004) Willing Slaves: How The Overwork Culture Is Ruling Our Lives.
To me, that sums it up really neatly.

Running Gems: Spring Has Sprung

Spring has arrived, and this morning's run was colourful. As the sun was rising, the sky blushed a rosy pink... Bright yellow daffodil heads beamed and nodded at me as I passed... The turquoise dart of a kingfisher zipped by me, on its mega-fast way upstream. Dew drops glint silver and shimmer on the washing lines.

I was only out for about 20 minutes, but already the morning has made me smile and feel oh-so-glad to be alive.

Picture by Muffet

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Do You Think Big or Small?

A mosey round the bookshop the other day led me round the usual sections - business, economics, popular science, environment, sociology and politics... I usually skip past the self-help/psychology books - too much like compulsory training courses at work I tend to assume... But this time I stopped and looked, took one off the shelf, and sat down for a read, tried another one...

I was struck by how many of the self-help books tackle similar issues to those covered in my usual economics/politics/sociology choices - though from a very different angle. All in, there must be millions of tomes, all with slightly different perspectives on these same themes. Which themes? Things like: there's more to life than money, money doesn't buy you happiness, follow your bliss, your job is making you ill, our lifestyles are killing the planet...

What amazes me is, how come when there are so many books preaching these ideas, virtually everybody is still chasing the money, signing up for colossal mortgages, consuming like resources are infinite, turning a blind eye to others' suffering, and compromising on our own lives because we just have to work more, more, more and harder too?

It must be an amazing market to get into, because if you can rattle off a couple of hundred pages theorising on happiness and freedom, ideally along with a 'how I did it' case study, you may well have a best seller. And since people love the idea, but find it really hard to implement, they'll probably buy your follow up too. These books, in the self-help genre anyway, are selling hope! But don't actually have to deliver on it, because that's up to the reader.

I got some damn good quotes and soundbites out of the self-help books I browsed that day, and more than a few will probably turn up in this blog. I'll probably read some more self-help books too. But I think that overall, I'll continue to gravitate towards the broader genres, that aren't so self-help orientated. Of course I'm focused on me, and improving my life - what are most of these blog posts, if not a running commentary of my thoughts and efforts in that direction. But I think that recognising and changing the systems that create and maintain all these problems and imbalances is probably a more important focus.

May as well think big, if you're going to think at all.

Image by janetmck

Monday, March 9, 2009

Why This High?

Wow, I'm on a high this morning. Up before dawn as usual for my morning run, and, with no shame about being cheesy as hell, I 'ran like the wind.' Beat that if you can before 6am on a Monday.

Got the laundry done, got some housework done, pulled together a 'to do' list, browsed all the blogs I follow (which made me feel even more inspired than I did when I first rolled out of bed), and now nearly all set up to head out for the day.

Why this high? Because it's all happening. I spent a good chunk of the weekend ditching loads of the crap that I've accumulated over the years, all the stuff that builds up, cluttering the house and weighing me down mentally, physically, financially, spiritually... Moving will be easier with half the possessions I owned two days ago, and so will ongoing life, hopefully. (Just have to persuade my other half to do likewise). Plus, some ideas slotted into place yesterday. Some notions in the direction of a micro-business, an independent way to earn a living, make a difference, and maintain my freedom... It's all very well ranting about the failings and frustrations of my wage-slave job and the wage-slave system, but without any notion of an alternative... it's all about as much use as farting against the breeze really. It's too early days to splurge my ideas out into this blog, but I'm high because I've a vision of where I want to go, both personally and professionally, and I can see the first steps I need to take to make it happen. Starting today. Like, right now. See ya's later.

Image by mysza831

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Running Gems: Time-Trial Snowman

I could've done without a run this morning. I wasn't feeling particularly inspired when I got up, I could almost have gone back to bed, or put the radio on and curled up with the newspaper under a duvet. Let the weather do its worst, enjoy the rattle of rain on the window panes, while I lounge snug in pyjamas with hot tea and toast. That's how I felt first thing.

But, I made myself get out there, into the wind, rain and sleet. Chug out a mile or two, I thought to myself, make a token gesture.

A couple of miles in, the sleet transformed to snow. Masses of snow swirling madly round me on the wind. My black running gear was getting caked white, I kept going, like a time-trial abominable snowman. Big fluffly flakes clogged up on the outside of my glasses, while on the inside I steamed up. I jogged on through a haze of poor visibility. More flakes landed on my lips, tingling as they dissolved. Grinning from ear to ear, I kept running in a state completely ill-equipped for this kind of weather. Brilliant.

Picture by foggydave

Saturday, March 7, 2009

Are You Playing The Game?

I've only 2 weeks left at work, and my professional facade is wearing thin. Not with clients, but with all the games and pretending, all the unsaid rules, and the unsaid scams, that permeate this organisation. I didn't often mind this stuff before. Occasionally something would get under my skin, but usually I played the game and didn't think about it much, just like everyone else. That's a big part of what being 'professional' is. But now, with the end in sight, absolutely everything is getting to me.

It doesn't make sense. How many times have I declared on this blog that I love my work? I thought I was being genuine too. I was being genuine; about the work I do, directly with clients... But I was obviously kidding myself about loving the big, unweildy, bureaucratic monster that I work for.

I want to find a way of living and working so that never again do find myself 'playing the game.' At least, not if the game is all lies and scams, shirking responsibility, getting 'creative' with paperwork, or compromising the health, principals and dreams of myself and others.

Image by kennymatic
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