Once You've Got It, Would You Ever Give It Up? Working From Home

Poor Traildreamer is sorely neglected these days. The two things that drove it in the beginning were my dual passions of running and travelling.  Those two threads led to all sorts of rants and research into work culture, freedom and how to pursue your dreams. No wonder the Traildreamer blog has faltered since then - I've hung up my travelling shoes for the time being while I commit to staying in one place for a bit, probably about 3 years. I've hung up my running shoes due to injury. And many days I don't even make it into a pair of work shoes.

I work from home, often in pyjamas and slippers till lunchtime. I'm pretty passionate about my job, and have an excellent manager who's clearly sussed out that she gets the best work out of me by leaving me to it apart from a once monthly meeting and the odd email.

I'm still assimilating the novelty of this new work set-up. I often marvel at it, and speaking to colleagues in other areas of the Highlands who've been doing the same thing, they all say the same thing...

"How're we ever going to return to a normal work arrangement?" It's true. We were all selected for these jobs based on certain qualities and values, and this job has allowed those qualities to flourish. I have a job description, I have a laptop and a mileage reimbursement rate, and I have outcomes I have to achieve. But how I go about achieving those outcomes is entirely up to me. Help and advice is there for when I want to ask for it, but generally I'm trusted to get on with it entirely on my own. I love that.

Taking on that kind of working arrangement needs high levels of autonomy, integrity, discipline and creativity. And after working like that for several years, how would you go back to an office environment, hierarchies, knowing your place, being closely monitored and controlled, enforced dress codes, having to get approval for every decision or action, being told what to do...?

I think the answer to that is, you wouldn't.  Not if you could bloody well help it.  Would you?

Image by ansik

Tactical Genius

Trouble with taking action, is... I've been doing too many other things to be able to sit down and blog. Sorry for the full week without a peep. Here's a wee something, harking back to previous diatribes and musings about motivational speakers...

Browsing the books and blogs of motivational speakers like Robert Holden (see here), I'm struck by how many high-profile conferences and courses and development days he's spoken and coached at. Not all, but most, seem to have been at senior manager or chief exec level. If all these senior managers of all these big organisations are attending these sessions, all about 'love', flexibility, communication and change in the workplace... How come the lower ranks rarely see any change? Or only changes that work them harder, control them more, and increase stress?

Is it just a junket? A 'jolly' for all those at the top of the tree? All the inspiring talk of change, values and success is fun and heady at the time, but implementing it turns out to be too much effort.

Or, is it an indication that things are gradually changing? That interest in these notions is growing? That a tipping point will soon be reached? I'd like to think it's this second option...

But is it? What about when Holden and his ilk get to speak for the lower ranks? The occasion this happened at my work (see previous post here), it created a real feel-good and revolutionary buzz for a day or two, before a 'healthy' dose of cynicism kicked in. We critiqued the speaker's message all to shreds, and went back to the same old. Did management authorise, invite, and pay for both the motivational speaker and all our man-hours because they really wanted change to take place and spread from the bottom of the organisation up? Or was it a good-will gesture of tactical genius? A way of giving us what we want, no, more than what we'd wanted, and then having us crush it all by ourselves?

There would have been the risk that a tiny minority of staff might've been inspired to do something radical and wonderful, or quit (which may amount to the same thing)... But it would arguably be a risk worth taking for those who prefer the status quo. The potential loss of one or two skilled staff who're already wavering, must be more than outweighed by the double-bluff of offering the majority a dream that they reject for themselves.

Image by Martin Kingsley

Why Excellent Employee-ism Is Sick

My closest friends are, by and large, excellent employees. I am the sole odd-bod. They turn up on time, do what they're supposed to do all day, clock off 8 hours later (unless they're doing some overtime), see themselves doing this for the next 30-40 years, and don't have any problem with any of that. "That's the contract. That's what you sign to in return for your pay packet," they explain to me in exasperation.

All the potential consequences not mentioned in that contract - stress, exhaustion, damaged health, wasted relationships, weakened sense of self, dissatisfaction and lack of fulfilment - are entirely separate issues as far as they are concerned. If you do develop significant problems in any of those areas, well, that's a personal issue, to be dealt with on a personal level. Get a grip. Snap out of it. Deal with it. Accept it. Go to your doctor and get some anti-depressants. Or some counselling maybe. Or some vitamins. Do more exercise, in your own time. Fit your relationships round your work better. Improve your time management skills. Or, ultimately, leave if you just can't cut it.

The job description as it stands, the workplace environment, culture and expectations are all sacrosanct. The individual has to adapt, or die (metaphorically rather than literally, obviously. Although...).

Image by theogeo

What Happens Between Jobs?

So. I am 'between jobs' at the moment (though it'll not be for long, it has to be said). I can feel my internal gears crunching. It's that shift, away from being externally directed by all the requirements dictated by a job - what time to get up, what to wear, how to travel, be there by such-and-such a time, leave when we say you can...

Now, my time is my own, and I've got that 'cast adrift' sensation. I've been here before, more than once, and I know how it runs. But that doesn't stop me floundering a bit. For the next short while, I can get up when I want, wear whatever I damn well please, and best of all, do what I choose... Fabulous.

But my internals are still adjusting. They're expecting a blast from the boss, or a word from the line manager, or a phone call from a client.

Waiting for something external and all-powerful to make my next decision for me.

Nae luck to that. For now, it's just me and I'm going to enjoy it.

Image by aussiegall

Are You Playing The Game?

I've only 2 weeks left at work, and my professional facade is wearing thin. Not with clients, but with all the games and pretending, all the unsaid rules, and the unsaid scams, that permeate this organisation. I didn't often mind this stuff before. Occasionally something would get under my skin, but usually I played the game and didn't think about it much, just like everyone else. That's a big part of what being 'professional' is. But now, with the end in sight, absolutely everything is getting to me.

It doesn't make sense. How many times have I declared on this blog that I love my work? I thought I was being genuine too. I was being genuine; about the work I do, directly with clients... But I was obviously kidding myself about loving the big, unweildy, bureaucratic monster that I work for.

I want to find a way of living and working so that never again do find myself 'playing the game.' At least, not if the game is all lies and scams, shirking responsibility, getting 'creative' with paperwork, or compromising the health, principals and dreams of myself and others.

Image by kennymatic

Why I Quit

My notice is in, and I'm counting down to my last day. Busy, getting on with it: clearing the caseload, typing up reports, filing the paperwork, handing over the outstanding stuff that needs picking up... Sometimes, in amongst the dross, shivers of anticipation catch me out - I remember where I'm going, and why I'm going there. See above. I cannot wait!

Everybody Loves a Quitter

Everybody loves a quitter.

There's something counter-intuitive about that sentence. It goes against everything we're taught and told in life, and all those corny American movies we go to see where lame ducks finally come good cos no matter the odds, they didn't quit.

But I'm not so sure. I have battled on against all odds in some things - studying for degrees, running marathons through a haze of pain, living in a foreign country despite being miserable as sin... And I have quit repeatedly in others - studying for degrees, living in a foreign country where I'm miserable as sin, certain jobs... Part of me has carried around a germ of guilt and shame for being a quitter. But the more I think about it, the less I think that's justified. It's important to choose the things worth quitting and the things worth sticking at. But if the choice is based on something more meaningful than sheer laziness, it's probably the right choice.

And at heart other people think so too. When it's come to quitting jobs, the most common responses I've encountered are... envy, admiration, and excitement. No matter that my quitting leaves those left behind with more work, higher caseloads, and increased aggravation until a replacement is found and trained up. It's important to stress that this is not the same as when you leave a job because you're moving up in the world - for a promotion or a better paid more important job. In those scenarios, you're not quitting. There's no risk, no 'giving it all up' to do something risky based on what your heart truly wants. So there's not the same heartfelt envy and excitement amongst colleagues.

It happened today. I went in with my letter of resignation and met with my line manager and my boss. Both were a little shocked and alarmed at the implications for them and the team, but for me... they were delighted. Both agreed, 'good on you.' They both said things like, 'We'd love to do the same - but we're trapped. We've based our lives on the levels of earnings we get here, we've got our mortgages and our cars and our commitments. We're fed up, scunnered, disillusioned and angry, but we can't do anything about it.'

There is something of a vicarious thrill in their responses. But hell, there is in mine too!

Am I quitting a sensible secure job for a risky future? Or am I quitting a career I don't want, for a life that I do? It's just a matter of re-framing the risks. I've never felt so sure as I did today that the risky things are the right things to do. Quitting is good.

Why Boldness Needs Practice

"When faced with two alternatives, always choose the bolder." Chay Blyth

I love that quote. I reckon it's a fantastic notion to put at the core of life. Not that I can say that I always do - bold is scary, and risky, and ill-advised, and something parents will definitely disapprove of.

But hey! What the hell. Given two alternatives recently, I have chosen the bolder, and it's kick-started an adrenalin rush and a sense of freedom that is very exciting! The two alternatives were:

1. Stay in the job I've got.
It is about as secure as a job can realistically be, it is well-paid, it has good holiday allowances, excellent parental leave options, and one of the few half-decent pension schemes left in the world. Plus I like the work, my colleagues, and my boss.

2. Leave the job I'm in, for something that is only one step less risky than ditching the lot and going travelling again.
It's a short-term contract, with less money, less holiday and less pension. Whaddya reckon?

Maybe the above description doesn't really get across how I feel about the two options.

1. I like my current job, but the 'security' of it frightens me silly.
If I stay where I am, I could easily be doing what I do now for the next 30-40 years. The thought of that makes me feel sick. I don't want my entire adult life to consist of 40 years full-time work for the same employer, with 2 week holidays scattered amongst it, all driving towards retirement and finally getting my hands on my pension so that I can live without work. Just in time to find I've developed arthritis in my knees and wrists, or some other chronic debilitating illness, and can't bloody well do any of the things I've been waiting to do all my life.

2. In the job i'm going for, it keeps me practiced at being bold - boldness is something that definitely needs on-going practice. It's about actively making things happen and changing things for the better.  It saves me from stagnation.  It keeps me from getting too comfortable, so I continue to live simply, cheaply, autonomously, flexibly, able to act according to my principals without being cowed into submission by fear, debt or authority. And it lets me prioritise my family, my running, and the wilderness.

Plus I'm hoping that it'll move me forwards. It's hard to develop independent entrepeneurial skills in a government-funded establishment job. While I don't yet know where I'm headed, I hope it'll be in the direction of short intensive work bursts and frequent 'mini-retirements,' or 'years out' (starting to like that phrase, once its in the plural).

In terms of risk, I've already ditched the lot and gone travelling before, and found that it wasn't all that risky really. I've never regretted the leaps I've taken, though I have felt crushed at the points where I've chickened out, been sensible, and not taken the leap.

I may live to regret it, but till then, I'm going to be bold.

Why 'Good Business Practice' Is Shooting Itself In The Foot

'Good' business does great by downsizing and streamlining, by paying its workers the minimum it can get away with for the maximum amount of work it can squeeze out. This is efficiency, and this is what it's all about. Our economy is founded on principals of cost efficiency and productivity. But does this mean our society should be too?

The idea is that if your company masters efficiency, and is a hard, fast, streamlined hive of productivity your company will succeed and you will become rich. Hooray. And if you don't own a company, but are a hard worker with in-demand skills, you should be alright. Well done.

But there will be a pay off. All the people who didn't cut it; who couldn't be fast enough, flexible enough, skilled enough... They can be streamlined out of your business model, but not out of existence. Just because they don't work for you, doesn't mean they're not going to be your problem. Consequences will result, whether through crime, unemployment, illness, disability, the feel of society or the cohesiveness of communities... We're all inter-related, inter-dependent, and can't all be boiled down to clever market forces. You may make great savings and great profit in your work, but there will be a cost somewhere along the line. It might be financial, which is easily understood in our economy and may provoke action (preferably by someone else). Or it may not be directly financial, which is more difficult. How do you price the human costs of unhappiness, exclusion, fear, loneliness, pain, anger or suffering? What goes around, comes around - in one form or another. Better surely to create a society that takes account of this cycle? That factors in the indirect human costs as well as the direct financial ones?

The Freedom Not To

Lately, I've been reading a lot of Tim Ferriss, AJ Hoge, Rolf Potts, Chris Guillebeau and similar. All guys who describe their routes to a particular pot of gold at the end of the rainbow: portable empires, 4 Hour Work Weeks, internet businesses.

They focus on how their business models have freed them to travel as much as they want, whenever they want, while still running their businesses and making their fortune... And how anyone can live the dream!

I like the dream. And there's no denying that I love to travel. But part of what I dream about, is the freedom not to have to keep wandering. I'd like the option to stay put, in a particular remote corner of the world, and build a life there. But remote corners of the world don't tend to have many jobs going...

And maybe that's going to be the key thing that saves me from a lifetime of wage slavery? I actually like my job, most of the time. Well, I love my work and I think it matters - though I could do without the bureaucracy and the corporate nonsense that comes with it. But I don't want to live here, in the city, for the rest of my days.

I want to combine the work that I care passionately about, with a place I care passionately about.