A new post from AJ usually gives me a wee boost, redirecting my mind back to the priorities of freedom and voluntary simplicity again. In recent months I've strayed from these priorities, because I've reached what might be described as a 'happy medium.' I've landed a great job doing something I love. And I'm living somewhere I love too - I've left the cities behind, and have the space and solitude of the Scottish Highlands to enjoy every day. A happy medium is a great place to be. Maybe the happy medium is the goal I've been chasing, the word 'medium' irrelevant? Is that word 'happy' the true bottom line? I can't complain, and don't much anymore... Except...
It can't last. My contract is for three years, and then... what? Funding dries up, and we're all back out on the street looking for jobs again. It's silly to worry about what I'll do in three years time, and I don't worry about it exactly. I feel more confident than ever before in my life. But I do feel in my bones that I couldn't bear to go back to working out of an office, with a boss who micromanages, and the autonomy and creativity I enjoy in this job firmly squashed. I couldn't stand to submit again to the senseless bureaucracy and hierarchical systems that dominate most jobs in the sector I work in. I'd hate to shelve all the projects that I can pursue in this job, projects that make a difference to my clients and excite me to pieces, and just go back to doing what I'm told and no more.
And, although I've hung up my travelling shoes and stashed my backpack at the back of a cupboard, I'd be lying if I claimed that I don't crave periods of simple nomadic wandering. I've booked a week down in Edinburgh for a training course in October, and I am so fizzy with anticipation at the thought of living out of one bag again, possessions to the minimum, drifting through hostels, quiet times spent writing and observing, learning some pretty amazing stuff at the training course for five days, and soaking in the experience of being adrift again. Travelling gets into your blood. While I may never take off for a year or more at a time again, I can't say I could settle for just two weeks a year either.
The upshot is, I've a strong desire to claim control and live my life doing what I love in a sustainable way, not to fit in with what needs to be, as dictated by a boss or a mortgage or a funding provider's short-term aims. Some people are always driven to do more, and some people aren't great at submitting to the way it is. I may be one of them.
Image by Irargerich
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