Why I Quit

My notice is in, and I'm counting down to my last day. Busy, getting on with it: clearing the caseload, typing up reports, filing the paperwork, handing over the outstanding stuff that needs picking up... Sometimes, in amongst the dross, shivers of anticipation catch me out - I remember where I'm going, and why I'm going there. See above. I cannot wait!

Windows

I'm on my Christmas holidays, and today is just Monday! The whole week stretches ahead, deliciously. Out on my run this morning, I'm unfocused and ok with that. I jog along, stop and start, stroll and sprint as the fancy takes me. I take an interest in other people's front rooms - glancing in windows as I pass, and admiring their trees, lights and decorations.

It's damp, still and mild down here on the ground. No sunshine to speak of. I look up in the sky, and watch the silent course of a plane as it passes overhead. Its vapour trail is lit up by the sun, a fluffy arrow of unearthly white. It makes me smile. I love that sensation of being up above the clouds as a new day breaks. Sitting next to the window hatch, gazing out at the view: blue skies, and landscapes of clouds piled high like heaps of clotted cream, every one with silver-hued and irridescent linings. The sense of calm, the contemplation, and the anticipation of being en-route to the next big adventure.

An Inspirational

"If you are lucky enough to feel passionately about something, then really your only obligation is to be true to that."

(Del Kathryn Barton - painter & sculptor.

Published in The Australian, 03/05/08)

It's About Compromises

It's Christmas time, and the shops are full of 2009 calendars. I had a day off work on Thursday, and went into the city to do some Christmas shopping. 8.30am and it was still pretty dark outside. As I walked along through the business district, I nosied in the bright-lit windows of all the offices. Many shades of grey lay before me. I was glad to be able to keep walking - through the rain and the icy patches - rather than climb the steps into any of those buildings and have to seat myself at a screen in a blanket-grey environment for the day.

After a bit, I noticed a colourful pattern developing as I passed building after building: it was in the calendars hanging on the office walls. Glossy pictures of amazing exotic beaches, of surfers catching splendid waves, of sunsets, autumn leaves, and astonishing natural wonders across the world.

On Friday, I went to my work and gazed at the calendar hanging above my desk - Scottish mountains no less - in a new way. It was meant to be motivational and inspirational. But really it's a compromise. A salve for an aching soul. Is that enough?