Why Being Sensible Is Super-Risky

Do you ever get chinks of hope? Moments when cracks appear in the walls in your head, and through the chinks, you can see clear for miles in hundreds of different directions? Moments when you catch fleeting enticing glimpses of all the wonderful things that could be?

It's scary leaving a career that was secure for life (more or less). But then, a 'career for life' is a fixed path, with little room for deviation. That's scary too. Especially when it encompasses life choices that will lock you onto that path, even if/when it goes horribly wrong, and you want out. Sensible people strongly advise caution - get a good job, get a pension, buy a car, get a mortgage, furnish your house, provide for your family, and slog on slog on. "You've got to play it safe or you'll come a cropper," they say. They're right of course. So long as everything goes to plan. But I look at some of my friends and colleagues right now, they played it safe and did what you're supposed to do, and their lives are falling apart. They're in desperate debt, depressed and stressed, their future looks damned shaky despite 'sensible' decisions, they've either lost their jobs or they feel trapped by them rather than inspired. To me, that's not a good example of how the normal way is the best way.

It's a risk, but is it really? By taking that first step, that foolish reckless step off the well-trodden path of a sensible career, wild colourful possibilties open out. Things that wouldn't really have entered my mind one month ago, now sneak their way into my mind's eye... I'm free. Free to make choices as opportunities arise, free to do what I fancy, free to follow my bliss.

What makes me free where others aren't? Why are my colleagues saying "you're very brave/you've very lucky," instead of doing the same thing as me when they so clearly want to?

These are some of the things underpinning my big step:

• A certain mental attitude - a faith in freedom, a belief that there must be better ways of living life. A suspicion that just because most people do things one way, doesn't mean it must be the best way.
• A financial attitude - where both debt and affluence should be treated with caution, as they both entrap and limit choices. Focusing on 'enough' rather than 'more.'
• A financial safety net. I'm not talking big bucks here, I'm talking what many Brits would probably spend on a family holiday in the sun for 2 weeks. Not loads, but enough to tide me over if it all goes wrong. It goes without saying, that I try not to spend the safety net.
• No dependents - I recognise that it's much harder to throw caution to the wind when you've children and loved ones depending on your hard-earned monthly salary.
• A willingness to do without in order to do more. I know I'd rather live in a basic wee flat, if it means I can make big leaps of faith and quit work and go travelling/ take lower paid but more inspiring work. A lovely big house, beautifully furnished, with all the best stuff would be nice. But it just isn't compatible with that kind of freedom. If I have to choose, I want the freedom, not the matching suite, the dishwasher, and the curtains from the John Lewis department store.
• Blind hope.

So it might all go wrong. I can see troubling clouds on the horizon in some directions, and may well find myself blogging about disasters and bad choices in the months to come. But who expects life to be peachy right through? Better though, that life choices are based on the chinks of hope rather than dogged resignation.

Why I Quit

My notice is in, and I'm counting down to my last day. Busy, getting on with it: clearing the caseload, typing up reports, filing the paperwork, handing over the outstanding stuff that needs picking up... Sometimes, in amongst the dross, shivers of anticipation catch me out - I remember where I'm going, and why I'm going there. See above. I cannot wait!

Cake Is A Political Issue

This post is not just about cake. But a lot of it is.

The other week, I was having a party, and I decided to make a cake. It's been a while since I've done such a thing, so out came the recipe books. "Using an electric hand whisk, whisk together the butter and sugar until light and fluffy," it said. No food mixer came with the flat I'm renting, so I was going to have to do it the old-fashioned way, by hand. I set to with the wooden spoon. Within a minute, I had to have a rest. My arm muscles were too weak to keep going! I got started again... knackered. I kept having to do a bit, rest, do a bit, rest... I was mortified.

(Where am I going with this?!).

I am lucky enough to live in a society where I can buy cakes, really really good cakes, for cheap, anytime anywhere. And if I do want to make a cake myself, there is a wide range of fancy equipment to take all the effort out of it. I am very lucky indeed. Must go out and buy an electric hand whisk...

Except... perhaps it is precisely that luck, and all those lovely electric hand whisks, that has resulted in me being so mortifyingly weak and feeble? The systems of our developed society work brilliantly together to save me time, and save me effort, and probably save me money too, while earning somebody out there a decent living. But what are the invisible costs? Lost skills, and atrophied physical capabilities? Ill-health and soaring health-care costs? They'd not show up on a balance sheet, but could it be?

'That link is so tenuous it's silly. Get a grip, and stop harping on about cake. Go down the gym if you're worried about being weak.'

Yeah yeah, I know. But that's kind of the case I'm making...

Making time, paying for the gym membership, and summoning the inclination to formally 'take more exercise' patently isn't easy for people - if it were easy, we'd not have the ever-increasing rates of obesity, diabetes and other fat-related illnesses that blight the Western world. Even for those of us who do make time, and passionately enjoy our preferred means of exercise - there's clearly something out of balance when 'a marathon runner' doesn't have the physical strength to whisk up a cake mix! 'Not enough cross-training,' the fitness freaks will tell me. They'd be right - runners are advised to cross-train in order to improve their running form, speed, endurance, and I know I don't cross-train as much as I should. The body is a system, and it works best when all aspects of it are trained. Wouldn't the same idea apply to everything we do? Why is physically using your body increasingly something separate from day-to-day activity? Ever think we're focused too much on component problems and not on the wider system?

'Taking more exercise' is an individual solution to our societies' health problems. But perhaps we should be focusing on all our activities. Perhaps society shouldn't be structured so that individuals are focused on sitting at desks/in cars/on sofas/in front of screens for most of each day, with technology doing all the other things that need doing. Perhaps then telling these same people to get off their fat arses and go down the gym for 30 minutes 3 times per week isn't helpful either.

We need to look instead at creating lifestyles where sitting on your ever-fatter-arse simply isn't what people do all day? Plus on tangent, think about the environment - so long as we have food (including cake), we are walking talking bundles of renewable energy. Since we're hell-bent on scoffing more calories than we should, why not use it for something?

Use it to live an active life. Not a passive grub-like one.

Mouthwatering Photo by shimelle

Photo: Details in the Sand

Everybody Loves a Quitter

Everybody loves a quitter.

There's something counter-intuitive about that sentence. It goes against everything we're taught and told in life, and all those corny American movies we go to see where lame ducks finally come good cos no matter the odds, they didn't quit.

But I'm not so sure. I have battled on against all odds in some things - studying for degrees, running marathons through a haze of pain, living in a foreign country despite being miserable as sin... And I have quit repeatedly in others - studying for degrees, living in a foreign country where I'm miserable as sin, certain jobs... Part of me has carried around a germ of guilt and shame for being a quitter. But the more I think about it, the less I think that's justified. It's important to choose the things worth quitting and the things worth sticking at. But if the choice is based on something more meaningful than sheer laziness, it's probably the right choice.

And at heart other people think so too. When it's come to quitting jobs, the most common responses I've encountered are... envy, admiration, and excitement. No matter that my quitting leaves those left behind with more work, higher caseloads, and increased aggravation until a replacement is found and trained up. It's important to stress that this is not the same as when you leave a job because you're moving up in the world - for a promotion or a better paid more important job. In those scenarios, you're not quitting. There's no risk, no 'giving it all up' to do something risky based on what your heart truly wants. So there's not the same heartfelt envy and excitement amongst colleagues.

It happened today. I went in with my letter of resignation and met with my line manager and my boss. Both were a little shocked and alarmed at the implications for them and the team, but for me... they were delighted. Both agreed, 'good on you.' They both said things like, 'We'd love to do the same - but we're trapped. We've based our lives on the levels of earnings we get here, we've got our mortgages and our cars and our commitments. We're fed up, scunnered, disillusioned and angry, but we can't do anything about it.'

There is something of a vicarious thrill in their responses. But hell, there is in mine too!

Am I quitting a sensible secure job for a risky future? Or am I quitting a career I don't want, for a life that I do? It's just a matter of re-framing the risks. I've never felt so sure as I did today that the risky things are the right things to do. Quitting is good.

Global Weirding & The Runner

Unseasonable ice turns to unseasonable mild. Last week saw me running on snow, kicking up powder, sliding on ice. This morning saw me jogging in short-sleeves, delighting at the feel of air on skin, and the lightness of not needing layers. Mmmm... This weather is weird, but I love it.

Why Boldness Needs Practice

"When faced with two alternatives, always choose the bolder." Chay Blyth

I love that quote. I reckon it's a fantastic notion to put at the core of life. Not that I can say that I always do - bold is scary, and risky, and ill-advised, and something parents will definitely disapprove of.

But hey! What the hell. Given two alternatives recently, I have chosen the bolder, and it's kick-started an adrenalin rush and a sense of freedom that is very exciting! The two alternatives were:

1. Stay in the job I've got.
It is about as secure as a job can realistically be, it is well-paid, it has good holiday allowances, excellent parental leave options, and one of the few half-decent pension schemes left in the world. Plus I like the work, my colleagues, and my boss.

2. Leave the job I'm in, for something that is only one step less risky than ditching the lot and going travelling again.
It's a short-term contract, with less money, less holiday and less pension. Whaddya reckon?

Maybe the above description doesn't really get across how I feel about the two options.

1. I like my current job, but the 'security' of it frightens me silly.
If I stay where I am, I could easily be doing what I do now for the next 30-40 years. The thought of that makes me feel sick. I don't want my entire adult life to consist of 40 years full-time work for the same employer, with 2 week holidays scattered amongst it, all driving towards retirement and finally getting my hands on my pension so that I can live without work. Just in time to find I've developed arthritis in my knees and wrists, or some other chronic debilitating illness, and can't bloody well do any of the things I've been waiting to do all my life.

2. In the job i'm going for, it keeps me practiced at being bold - boldness is something that definitely needs on-going practice. It's about actively making things happen and changing things for the better.  It saves me from stagnation.  It keeps me from getting too comfortable, so I continue to live simply, cheaply, autonomously, flexibly, able to act according to my principals without being cowed into submission by fear, debt or authority. And it lets me prioritise my family, my running, and the wilderness.

Plus I'm hoping that it'll move me forwards. It's hard to develop independent entrepeneurial skills in a government-funded establishment job. While I don't yet know where I'm headed, I hope it'll be in the direction of short intensive work bursts and frequent 'mini-retirements,' or 'years out' (starting to like that phrase, once its in the plural).

In terms of risk, I've already ditched the lot and gone travelling before, and found that it wasn't all that risky really. I've never regretted the leaps I've taken, though I have felt crushed at the points where I've chickened out, been sensible, and not taken the leap.

I may live to regret it, but till then, I'm going to be bold.

Do We Really Live In The Land Of The Free?

We're lucky, we live in the land of the free. Or do we?

Freedom of expression, freedom of speech are fundamentals of Western society. But since I started this blog, I've found myself reluctant to give away too much about myself that could identify me to the casual reader. Partly this has been about retaining a sense of privacy, and perhaps also a certain lack of confidence. But a big part of it has been a wariness of the powers that be.

When I was doing my professional training, our lecturers covered our future responsibilities. And one of these responsibilities would be to not bring our profession into disrepute. We were told a tale, repeatedly, about a group of female physiotherapists who were struck off because photos were taken and published of them on holiday - indulging in some topless skiing! Bit of a hoot that story. Was it even true? I don't know. But the moral was clear as day - what you do in your private life, can be justified grounds for disciplinary action if its deemed to be potentially damaging to your profession. So watch it!

In a previous job, a colleague of mine was very politically minded and frequently went on marches, always in a peaceful capacity I hasten to add. She used to joke that the authorities would certainly have pictures of her ugly mug on file (though was she really joking?). With the G8 protests coming up, she was getting all geared up for participating in the big day, when a senior colleague took her aside and advised her not to go. He warned that if anything happened, any sort of trouble or controversy that she could be connected to, it could impact on her job or her entire professional career.

In a world where 'freedom' is supposedly entrenched in our culture, it's depressing to hear stories like these - stories of people engaged in very benign activities who can still find their lives turned upside down by authorities that feel... what? Threatened? Undermined? A laughing stock? In reality, the cases of authorities or professional bodies actually taking action against individuals who show them up in some way must be miniscule and extremely rare. But the stories of it are rife - keeping us all in check through self-imposed regulation of what we say and do.

I don't have anything particularly radical to say. But nor do I tow the party line 110%. And with blogging, what emerges over the weeks and months is not planned out in advance. It evolves, and I don't know where it's evolving to. 

Blogging is all about self-expression, and when I find myself self-censoring just in case my profession gets wind of my personal opinions, I have to wonder. 

Just how free are we?

Photo by erix!

Do You Learn More After 'The Big Trip', Than During It?

I read a lot of blogs where people are gearing themselves for their first big trip, to ditch the routines and expectations of ordinary unfulfilling lives and Go Travelling.  And I also follow a lot of blogs where people are out there, right now, doing it, living their dream (I'm a wee tad envious of those people, it'll be sunny where they are now).  All the focus is on making it happen, and then enjoying it.  Rightly so too.  But...

What happens after the first Big Trip?  If I think about where I'm at right now...

I started this blog at the end of a major experiment in simplified and free living. I saved some cash, packed in my job, and set off to Australia for a year's experimentation. I experimented in trying not to work, trying not to need many possessions, trying to enjoy each moment, and trying to focus on the activities and passions that naturally emerge given true freedom, time and space.  Which, for me, turned out to be running, the great outdoors, writing, creativity, and close meaningful relationships.  I did it all, loved it, made the most of it, and didn't think to blog about it till after the fact (doh!).

The experiment was a success!  I came back with a clarity, a peace and a direction that was new and thrilling. I found a confidence in myself outside the norms of society that was positive and healthy and strong. Along the way, I found blogs and books by people who also had similar principals and goals, and I followed them closely (the Hobopoet, the 4 Hour Work Week, and The Art of Non-Conformity being three of the best).

I started this blog to try and keep myself on track.  To keep experimenting, and build on the experience to integrate simplicity, creativity, and a freedom from wage-slavery fully into my life, longterm.  Great goals, eh? 

Instead, something else has happened. I went back to my full-time job, and got a nice flat with my other half, and got my car back from my brother, and found there were lots and lots of things I 'needed' and simply must buy...

And all the simplicity, freedom, time and space evaporated. My 'year out' (now there's a telling phrase, who coined and propagated that one?) was nice, but as a model for a longterm lifestyle, surely ridiculous? The words 'unrealistic, irresponsible, and juvenile' all spring to mind. I write these thoughts down, and I realise that the brainwashing of modern society is working on me. I'm letting things slip, reverting to my old pre-freedom self.

So, has my experiment actually been a total failure?

No.  I've just been redirected a bit.  Out of those travels, I  have found a new direction and passion in relation to my work. Where before I was floundering a bit, now I'm focused.  Suddenly notions of social justice, equality, health and wellbeing really fire me up. Now, I have a more independent enquiring approach to my job that I didn't have before.  Its no longer enough, somehow, to just do my job each day, as expected, as instructed, and not concern myself with the things that really might make a difference.  I now know for sure that work is good and important (though I also now realise that the way many jobs are structured gets in the way of all that).

What I'm wondering is, can I combine the two types of success? Retain freedom, autonomy, simplicity and creativity as viable principals to guide my life. But also apply them as principals that may help others? Simultaneously strive for a job, a business, or an income that works to change the fucked-up priorities of our society, and improve things for all?

Following your passion, or your bliss, isn't just about hanging out on sunny beaches (though sometimes it is!). It's also about ensuring that the principals that you care passionately about are the core of everything you do.

Maybe you learn more after The Big Trip than you do during it?

Why 'Good Business Practice' Is Shooting Itself In The Foot

'Good' business does great by downsizing and streamlining, by paying its workers the minimum it can get away with for the maximum amount of work it can squeeze out. This is efficiency, and this is what it's all about. Our economy is founded on principals of cost efficiency and productivity. But does this mean our society should be too?

The idea is that if your company masters efficiency, and is a hard, fast, streamlined hive of productivity your company will succeed and you will become rich. Hooray. And if you don't own a company, but are a hard worker with in-demand skills, you should be alright. Well done.

But there will be a pay off. All the people who didn't cut it; who couldn't be fast enough, flexible enough, skilled enough... They can be streamlined out of your business model, but not out of existence. Just because they don't work for you, doesn't mean they're not going to be your problem. Consequences will result, whether through crime, unemployment, illness, disability, the feel of society or the cohesiveness of communities... We're all inter-related, inter-dependent, and can't all be boiled down to clever market forces. You may make great savings and great profit in your work, but there will be a cost somewhere along the line. It might be financial, which is easily understood in our economy and may provoke action (preferably by someone else). Or it may not be directly financial, which is more difficult. How do you price the human costs of unhappiness, exclusion, fear, loneliness, pain, anger or suffering? What goes around, comes around - in one form or another. Better surely to create a society that takes account of this cycle? That factors in the indirect human costs as well as the direct financial ones?

Running Gems: This Other World

9pm: out running through thick snow. Each footstep makes a clean squeak, a sound more satisfying than the pop of bubble wrap. Fox prints pepper the whiteness, and I dance round them as I run. Ice underfoot makes me pull back my pace, makes it cautious, steady and sustainable. In this other world, muffled under blankets of snow and darkness, I could go forever.

Picture by Aaron